thank you!

thanks to all who have visited this blog.
from now on, i will not post here anymore. however, the blog will still stay online.
i have published a volume with all the poems here, entitled scrambled.
whatever i have written since then and whatever i'll write from now on will be available at third volume, a new blog. thanks for the time spent here. if you enjoyed it, i would like to welcome you on third volume. :)

crimson red

It’s accusations of treason
That go through my head.
A veil shrouds my reason
Crimson red.

Did you know that you drew blood
With the things you said?
Your heel crushed a rosebud
Crimson red.

All the feelings that I nurtured
Left me empty and dead;
My heart thrown out to the vultures
Crimson red.

fiery orange

In the vastness of the desert of dreams
Remnants of hope are starting to cringe
At the bottom of hearts; for all seems
Fiery orange.

The sun burns the very soul dry.
Oblivious to pain it can infringe,
A hot glowing gem set in the sky
Fiery orange.

The desert sand is melted to tiles
Beneath tired soles, starting to singe;
Stretching around for thousands of miles:
Fiery orange.

dirty yellow

Each step is more revealing
Of confinement. Paths narrow.
Can't shake a dungeon feeling
Dirty yellow.

Slightly more than I can handle -
All around an eerie glow;
Shadows flicker in light of candles
Dirty yellow.

Down here no one hears your calls.
The only thing alive is the echo
Bouncing off cursed dank walls
Dirty yellow.

poison green

A seed sown ages ago
Has sprung weeds unforseen
And they continue to grow
Poison green.

Magic vines grow entwined,
Grow entangled, yet unseen,
Driving thorns into my mind
Poison green.

I need to grow another culture
To extract some morphine
To counter this torture
Poison green.

deepest blue

You look up to a single open eye
Bestowing blessings down on you:
The watchful goddess in the sky
Deepest blue.

Starry night, the moon in bloom,
The sky takes on its deepest hue
And silence falls over the room
Deepest blue.

A stillness sets in on the mind;
Sleep begins to claim its due;
A dream's thread starts to unwind
Deepest blue.

toxic violet

I am caught in senseless craze,
The strangest thing I ever met;
Getting lost inside a haze
Toxic violet.

This doesn't feel like me at all.
Need to cross the lines you've set:
Lies spun to keep me in thrall
Toxic violet.

I feel the surge of adrenaline,
Roll the dice, I've placed my bet.
A whirl has caught me in its spin
Toxic violet.

arctic white

Far north where the Ice Queen reigns
And the northern lights grace the night
The stars are embedded in icy planes
Arctic white.

Your screams freeze; cold muffles the sound.
You might as well be sealed airtight,
Frozen in mid-action, bound to the ground
Arctic white.

Ice crystals sharp as thousands of sickles
Pierce your heart with frozen starlight.
The thoughts in your head turn into icicles
Arctic white.

misty grey

A plunge into conscience
Has lead me utterly astray
On another plane of existence
Misty grey.

I dance too close to the edge.
Fog swirls rise all along the way
Shrouding all knowledge
Misty grey.

Clinging to it with my stiff fingers
I still feel sanity slipping away.
Only shadows hover and linger
Misty grey.

shiny black

So many promises meant to smite
I have long since lost track;
Chasing their ghosts into the night
Shiny black.

Reasons I could find a million
But not the will to turn back…
Running away on a winged stallion
Shiny black.

The heart has ways the mind denies
And slowly reason starts to crack.
See the abyss mirrored in my eyes
Shiny black.

smoke

In the night I never feel any shame.
In your embrace am most at peace
Because in the way you call my name
I hear you never will release.

In the night I'm free of my alps
Reassured by words you spoke.
During the day none of this helps
As you dissolve in whirls of smoke.

In the night it all seems so real
Like you were really standing there.
I can reach out, touch and feel,
Hear the words you whisper in my hair.

In the night I'm certain of my way.
I know by heart the path I walk.
I only falter at the break of day
As you dissolve in whirls of smoke.

2 to argue

All these ghosts that haunt me
Know what harm mere words can do.
They throw them at me to taunt me.
I never reply - it takes 2 to argue.

As I leave but an empty shell behind
There's not much harm words still can do.
Soar away, in search of peace of mind,
Leave all behind - it takes 2 to argue.

A giant lotus flower lends me a petal.
I wrap myself in till no words beak through.
For sanity, disputes might prove lethal.
I keep out of all - it takes 2 to argue.

shape shifter

Thought hider.
Shape shifter.
Mask provider.
...Soul drifter.

Indulge me just a little while
And I can wipe out this bitter grin,
Replace it with a Mona Lisa smile:
None in tune with what's within.

Both are ever posing a riddle
About what's lying underneath:
A hug broken off in the middle
Or a dagger ready to unsheathe.

Thought hider.
Shape shifter.
Mask provider.
...Soul drifter.

I feel so very diamond-shaped
With multiple sharp facettes.
My true form is ever draped
Like a subtle joke that no one gets.

night of the vampire

Darkness spreads its bat-like wings
Enfolding all of my daydreams
Like Christmas present wrappings
Tied up with silver moonbeams.

Trembling with anticipation
As you breathe life into my soul,
Relishing every tickling sensation
Under a full moon I become whole.

A glance of grey-green eyes
In the night like a vampire
Cuts my breath and sucks me dry
Then fills me with desire.

undead

You said I seem to lack a heart.
Had one but it fell apart.

It's been like that now for ages -
Alive only in diary pages.

The very heart you used to mistreat
Is but splinters at my feet

Burnt up by crushes and crashes
Into a sorry pile of ashes.

Heart on the sleeve, so starry-eyed
Left on the edge of suicide

Harboring a longing left yet unfed
Won't rest in peace. Un-dead.

paint the sky

If life's written in the stars
I'll paint the sky.
If desires are streetcars
I'll book a ride.

I wanna be someone who believes
Just like Mr. Jones,
Not someone who grieves,
Bickers and moans.

I'll jump for joy before I rust
For believing in you.
My brush dipped in stardust,
Strokes over the blue.

If life's written in the stars
I'll paint the sky.
If desires are streetcars
I'll book a ride.

hatching

I see myself reflected distorted
In the evil eye of a gargoyle,
All plans of escaping thwarted,
All hopes of salvation foiled.

Floating around: ghost faces, sneers
Seeming epitaphs on my tomb.
Foreboding laughter rings in my ears
Sounding like a sentence to doom.

Like corridors of a sick mind or worse
Walls shift, close in or fall to dust.
Praying for a sunray to lift the curse,
Help my hatching out of this eggcrust.

knocking

I have washed my angel wings.
Can’t you see they’re shiny white?
Fixed a halo up with strings,
Polished it to glow ever so bright.

Do I still need to meddle with the wicked,
Fallen angels like me and mortal men?
Or can I finally get a ticket,
Is the stairway to heaven working again?

I could play a harp, sing you a song
But I’d give away – I’m all I’ve ever been,
My devil’s tail is just as long
But… if I knock, please take me back in.